Doctors part ii

I was sitting in the hallway waiting to see the doc with Mel at the hospital, and I started thinking of a python-esque sketch.

man- I have an appointment to see my doctor here.
nurse- wristband or toe tag?
man- excuse me?
nurse- do you need a wristband or toe tag?
man- I would guess I need a wristband since I'm still breathing.
nurse- well, how serious is your condition? If you have any doubts, it will save time to give your toe tag now.
man- a wristband will be fine.
nurse- maybe we should have the doctor check you in first, and then we'll decide.
man- I'm here about a sore toe.
nurse- we'll be the judge of that.
man- if I sign a waiver promising not to die while I'm here, can I get a wristband?
nurse- Do you have it notarized? I'm also assuming you have health insurance.
man- Are you a notary? and yes, I do.
nurse- I'm not a notary, so nothing you sign is binding anyway. We just have people sign it to scare you into paying whatever your insurance doesn't cover. So, fill out these forms and join the others in the waiting area. We'll call your name when the doctor is available.
man- is it unreasonable to assume that the doctor would be available since we've had this appointment for three weeks?
nurse- YOU have the appointment, I don't even know if the doctor is here. The doctor works in mysterious ways.
man- I'll just fill out the forms, and sit over there.