Top 10 things not to say to your black friends this week.

In all of the hoopla this week over Obama, the new administration, and all the excitement about how far we've come, it will be real easy for "us" white folks, crackers, etc. to slip up and say the wrong thing. So despite our good intentions, and good will it might still be a good idea to avoid the following words and/or phrases.
10. "I think its really great how far your people have come"
This implies two things: first that their people are different from our people, and second that their people care what you think.
9. "I love the way black people __________"
This was the classic faux pas that says that being black provides some genetic predisposition to some ability that white people don't have. A case in point is that I grew up believing that I was particularly well-endowed, and I arrived at this assumption based on inference-"all black guys have big ones, I have the same size these guys have, I must have a big one.
8. "Black people are funny/ good at sports/ great dancers"
This implies the same connotation as #9 with the same ultimate failure in logic.
7. "Sometimes I feel bad about what white people have done"
Really you don't feel bad, and second no one cares what you feel. Everything isn't about you and how you feel.
6. "My black friend _________says '__________'
first, your black friend hasn't been appointed by all black people to speak on their behalf, and if your black friend thinks that they are, they are probably an idiot.
5. "I voted for Obama because he's black, I figured you guys couldn't screw it up worse than it already is."
I don't think I have to explain the several mistakes made in this statement, but just in case;
a. saying "you guys" is another sweeping generalization
b. regardless of how bad it is, it can still get worse- again this has nothing to do with race.
4. "When I was in college, I dated a black guy/ girl."
your collegiate self-expression probably included a little same- sex action, and drug experimentation, just because you learned to be a liberal in college doesn't make it right.
3. "Obama is the president for all of us"3. "Obama is the president for all of us"
This is a statement of fact. The fact that you are saying it implies that it needed your stamp of approval before it was fact.
2. "I'm fine with a black president- I don't have any problem with it."
What if you did have a problem with it? No one cares that you don't have a problem with it. Get over yourself.
1. "some of my best friends are black"
This has to be the grandaddy of all the worst things a liberal whitey could say to a black friend. I know a guy who is a paranoid schizofrenic- the fact that I know him doesn't validate his particular world-view, I don't have that kind of power- I can't vouch for him, and I can't speak on his behalf.
Finally, don't drop the n-bomb, regardless of how you pronounce it, its just plain disrespectful. Have fun this week, enjoy the party, and avoid these stupid phrases, and when you feel the need to get drunk, sling your arm around your black friend's neck and say something you think is cool. Just don't.