Iraq and a Hard Place

Didn't it used to mean that when you defeated a nations army, took its capital city, and killed its ruler that you won the war? What ever happened to the days when you defeated a nation's army you defeated the nation?

Now these piece of crap little countries have a few cowardly hold-outs attacking under the cover of subterfuge and terrorism and they act like they won. It reminds me of the Black Knight in Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail. Insisting that the fact that he has no legs is merely a flesh wound...


So I have a three point plan for winning the War in Iraq.

1. We wake up tomorrow and just say we won. We won. Let's decorate Washington, hang the banners, and shoot off the fireworks and bring the boys home as heroes. The only thing is- in order to get what they want- The Democrats in Congress have to say with the rest of us that we won. We won. No detractors, no pundits, no opposing viewpoint- we want out, so we with one united voice we say "WE WON"

2. We forget about the Iraqi people's human rights for the next ten-twenty years. Who cares if their economy doesn't recover. Who cares if their people don't have roads and infrastrure. Who cares if rogue armies run around blowing up their own crap. Whenever some self-appointed Shia rises up, we fly over and bomb the crap out of him. The only trick is that all the liberals who are crying now about bringing the troops home, don't get to go over there in those stupid khaki vests talking about how crummy it is over there, and what a mess we left the place in.

3. We refuse to broadcast whatever towel-head shows up claiming we didn't win all over our media outlets, and for once the media machine in the US works AGAINST our enemies, and we say WE WON. I mean who's gonna argue with us? The French? We're the friggin world power. If we want to go defeat a foriegn army, kill it's totalitarian dictator, and run Old Glory up the flagpole and declare victory, its our perogative. We're THE friggin world power. Lets start acting like it. If America wants to say that we won the war in Iraq- then we won the war in Iraq. End of story.

I personally think that the boys over there did a damn good job. I don't happen to think that policing crappy urban environments is what they signed up for- and none of us wanted a long, protracted crappy occupation with a bunch of idiots with roadside bombs getting a kick out of blowing up hummers full of GIs.

So lets just say we won. Declare victory, bring the boy's home to a heroes' welcome- and that's it.

The only strategy that the enemy has is victory by attrition. If we pull our boy's out of there, and drop a nuclear bomb that turns that place into a (well...desert) some AK-47 toting mutant arab is going to climb out of a cave and declare victory over the infidels- and you can bet your ass that CNN will be right there to film the big American defeat.

The other option is to do as George Sr. said one time and "stay the course" We can tighten security in Iraq, send more troops give more funding, and crack down on those towel headed ingrates, forcing democracy and freedom on them whether they want it or not.







Any questions?