"just" johntindale

In my younger years, I would sometimes take on different persona, in an attempt to define myself.
When I was in high school, I called myself "Mr. LCS" LCS- short for Lanham Christian School, which was of course where I attended high school. This nickname started as a slur by one of my friends- In those days it wasn't cool to like LCS. We all felt much more self-assured and much cooler as 'haters', but I decided to go against the grain and make the best of it. So one day, when I said or did something to point out that LCS might not be so terrible, one of my friends said "whatever- Mr. LCS," and I took that as my monniker for the next two years.

The thing they don't tell you in high school, is that once you graduate- its pathetic to have an identity that comes from what you were in high school. This led me to ask myself the questions; "Who am I? and Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Where shall I find a good sammich and a beer?" So I just kinda "blended in" once I moved on to community college, work, and everything else that comes along with getting a life.

My next phase was "churchboy" this nickname deserves a long- drawn out description and discussion, but its not gonna get either for the sake of brevity. I think it might have been Keith Goldman who said it first- I'm not sure. The point of the nickname was that in our church in Annapolis, I was among the few that had grown up "churched" and had an experience of what church was supposed to be like, as opposed to most of the congregation who had mostly grown up "unchurched." I'll never prove it, but I'm sure Kirk Franklin heard it at Washington for Jesus, and used it for the title of his autobiography. I used to like the way Jeff Fenholt felt the nickname "churchboy" was too long, and would simply call me "church."

When I left that church, and my first marriage burned in flames, and my life came to a screeching halt- I realized that the 'persona' of churchboy must also die in flames, which led me to the same question that all fallen and retired heroes must ask themselves, "Who am I? and Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Where shall I find a good sammich and a beer?"

I went back to my old faithful trade, and got a job as an hvac tech with a local plumbing/hvac company. Here I became JT. closer to the "real me" but not quite. It was a good job at which to throw myself because everything else was crumbling around me. When that whole thing fell apart, it wasn't so much of a life-changing experience, but it led me back to the questions, "Who am I? and Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Where shall I find a good sammich and a beer?"

This time it didn't come as an epiphany or as a joke- It slowly crept up on me like a feeling that had been repressed for years. first it was a little disappointing- "I'm just John Tindale." Me-with all my failings, shortcomings and bad habits. Me-who I am when I am alone. Me, when I'm not trying to win any popularity contests or impress anyone. Me, ME, ME, ME-it became defiance, like Eddie Murphy on Saturday Night Live declaring "I'm Gumby Dammit" I declared to everyone around me "I'm John Tindale, dammit."

Most recently, the defiance has died down, and I'm more settled and comfortable with the idea. It only recently came to me that my website is "johntindale.com" and that my blog is johntindale.blogspot.com, and that my "myspace" is "myspace.com/johntindale" In days gone by it never would have occurred to me to be "just" johntindale. I'm comfortable with that concept. I don't need a marketing team, or writers, or a PR firm. I'm John Tindale. I even answer the phone that way. "Hi, this is John Tindale!"

I'm funny, but not funny all the time. I'm smart-but not always. I'm creative when I have time. I'm organized when I have a secretary. I'm good with other people's money, but not so much with my own. I'm mechanically inclined. I like movies. I like good TV (hard to find these days) I like comedians-except for most women comedians-and all the women comedians I think are funny are all gay. I'm a Christian, but a very liberal Christian. I like sex. I like beer. I'm divorced and remarried to a wonderful girl who is now proud to call herself Melanie Tindale. I like to party, but I hate hangovers.

I like the internet- It was a really good idea. I spend a lot of time thinking about my son. I think I'm management material. I want to be rich and start a bunch of foundations to fund research, invent cool stuff, advance technology and science, and send brilliant poor kids to college. I want to build a garage and call it my "lab." I want to finish seeing the world. I want to learn to weld really well. I want to build stuff in general. buildings, houses, schools, libraries, time machines and cars that hover. Mankind has not accomplished jack-squat until cars hover. I think we should have another reformation- and hopefully a resultant renaissance. I want my gravestone to say something really deep and profound, and I want a whole bunch of people crying profusely at my funeral. I'm interested in a lot of things until I "figure it out" and then I tend to drop it like a hot potato.

I want my son to go to, and finish college. I want him to succeed in life. I want him to be happy. I want him to love and respect his mother and know that I'm ok with that. I want him to be whatever he wants to be, and know that I'm ok with that too. I want him to be proud of his dad, John Tindale, and to know that his dad is proud of him too.

I'm John Tindale. take it or leave it. Love me, hate me, react with ambivalence. I am John Tindale, I am here because God ordained it from the beginning of time, My purpose in life is to build and establish things, and good sammiches and beers are everywhere- London, Philadelphia, DC, NY, Sydney, Kiev you just sometimes have to drink a few crap beers, and a few lousy sammiches in the quest, but the quest is the fun part.