Was it just me, or did it seem like the US Olympic team was a bunch of whiny b#$%es this time around? To steal a phrase from the junkies, the whole thing was more than a "little hurting."
The key to saying hurting is in the pronunciation. its "herrr-Ting" you overpronounce the "herr" and the "t" so it comes off as I said before, "herr-Ting"
Lets start with Michelle Kwan- So you pulled a groin muscle, and you gotta go on live TV to skate around for a minute, fall, and then skate over to your manager/ trainer in tears...You know what? Just don't show up! Bow out gracefully, let some other kid get the spotlight, take some time off, and then go talk to the Disney on Ice people. You can always be a judge on the next installment of Skating with the Stars.
Then there was Bode Miller. How much did Nike pay him in endorsements? Two DNFs, a disqualification and the 5th and 6th place is the best you can do. Nice move, pansy. Then I love the way the commentators "spin" it, "Well, there's the mark of a very intense athlete, its all or nothing for Miller." You don't even have the decency to finish skiing down the damn hill when you realize you're not gonna win? Grow up. Can you imagine this guy on the playground in dodgeball. "You're out, little Bode- don't cry, when everyone gets out we'll start another game." Who names their kid Bode anyway?
Then there was that Wier kid. I'm sorry you don't hold a press conference to tell the world that the other pansy is going to beat you before the competition even starts. Thats why we call it a competition. You are COMPETE-ING. You have been training your whole life for this, so you can BEAT the other GUY. Don't get me started. Say it with me, Herrrrrr- Tinggg.
Finally, we come to the girl who tried to showboat on the last jump in the women's downhill snowboard race, caught a bad edge, and came in second when she clearly had the gold. What was her name? Jacobellis-whatever.
I think there needs to be two more parts added to the pre-olympic qualifying. A really hard puch in the arm, and a wedgie. I'm sorry Weir, you scored a .05 in the arm puch for the audible whelp you let out, and the tears and the little girl scream during the wedgie segment cost you 2.7 points.
Gimmie a break. These candy-asses are America's best? These whimps are supposed to inspire me to stand in the street yelling "YOU ESSS Ay, YOU ESSS Ay, I don't think so, sparky. I guess this is what happens when a generation grows up on Barney, and non-competitive or judgemental primary school sports and grading systems. Jimmy can't read or write, or throw a ball, but he is very helpful and kind during sensitivity time.
Say it with me, "Herrr- Ting." Now you're getting it.
