When I was in my 20s I worked at Nordstrom during the day and then would go volunteer at my Church in the evening. The holidays were exceptionally busy, and one thing I would notice is that as we got progressively closer to the holiday, I would start to feel the push.
From Nordstrom I would hear things like- "we're going to need everyone to be available as much as possible over the next couple weeks." They would limit the number of days you could take off work, and there was always pressure to try to get me to work on Sundays. I would stand firm, but it also meant that I would never have a Saturday off during the entire 5 yrs off that I worked there.
However, I started to notice that despite my religious reasons for not wanting to work on Sundays and regardless of how committed I was to my beliefs, I would also feel the push from the church. During the holidays, Sunday isn't the only day they need you at the church. Suddenly there's a midweek service that needs to be set up, or there's a special play, cantata, recital, etc. that needs additional tech support, and it is vital, important, etc. that I be there...
During one especially stressful holiday, I named it the push; "we need you, you gotta be here, we can't do it without you." are all phrases you might hear when the push is on. Granted, if you have things set up correctly, or if you've delegated well, or if you have established protocols, policies, and procedures and trained your people well, they probably don't need you- except for their own psychological well-being.
It's not just church and work, the push can come from anywhere. The club you joined, the exercise group you work out with every week, or the political committee you joined- they all have their special events, and they can all tend to believe that their thing is the most important thing you can be doing at that particular moment.
The push comes in all forms, from all directions, all the time, so how do you handle the push, what do you do when the push is on? What do you say to your boss when they say to you "If I have to be here, then you have to be here." The only thing left to do is to push back.
1. Say no. This is the most obvious answer to the push, but many times it is the most difficult. When your company tells you that they need you to work until 2:00am Christmas morning, and then be back to work at 4:30am the day after Christmas, tell them that your family is important, and you can't commit. This requires a lot of strength, but it also requires that you don't do this to them all the time.
2. Get things accomplished in less time. If your boss determines that it is going to take 12 hours to accomplish something, and that everyone is required to be there that day for 2 hours, then arrive that day on time, and then outwork the schedule and ask to leave early. Many people don't have something else to do, and are paid hourly so they are happy to work for 12 hours.
3. Be better than everyone else, focus, and get things accomplished during the time that you can commit. If you are a rock star when you are committed to do something, and you are the best at what you do, you'd be surprised how much you can push when the time comes. Don't settle for the way everyone else does something if you can use it to your advantage.
4. Be diplomatic. Don't show that you are resisting the push when you don't have to. If you become the only one who consistently 'gets away with' leaving early, arriving late- show everyone why it is that you do these things, and then proceed to go about business your way. The worst thing you can do is teach all of your co-workers about the push, because there are times when someone needs to be there, and the whole point of this exercise is to keep it from being you.
5. Finally, remember to give when you can. If you are a Christian, then plan to work extra during the week of Ramadan, or if (like me) you need Sundays free, then let others have their Friday nights and Saturdays. The final piece of avoiding the push is helping people remember that they can't have you today, but they can have you tomorrow when they need you for something else.
Moving forward with my plans for the 4HWW, using GTD, and trying to start my own business, I have recently been reminded of "the push" and where my ability to manage it has taken me. This is a new way of thinking for me, but yet there are skills that I have learned in the past that will help me move my goals forward, and learning to manage "the push" has been one of the key skills I've learned that has given me an edge in my career.
